Anyone coming here for enlightenment would be better served by a 40-watt GE from the supermarket.
Yes, yes, I know. I KNOW. All the smart, sane, intelligent people are taking the high road here, celebrating a historic moment in our history and pledging to try to unite our fractured nation.
Go ahead, with my blessings. Because I just have to pucker up and do some razzing!
PAGING BULLWINKLE THE MOOSE. BULLWINKLE THE MOOSE. URGENT CALL FOR BULLWINKLE THE MOOSE ON LINE 1.
Here I am! You want to see me pull a rabbit out of my hat?
BULLWINKLE. TAKE COVER IMMEDIATELY. TAKE COVER IMMEDIATELY. EVACUATE TO CANADA IF POSSIBLE.
Gee whiz. I'm not sure I can! Why should I?
BECAUSE SARAH PALIN IS COMING BACK TO ALASKA WITH A CHIP THE SIZE OF CONNECTICUT ON HER SHOULDER. SHE'S GONNA WANT TO HUNT HER A MOOSE.
Oh, no worries there! Not a one! I've got a nice new pair of binoculars...
BINOCULARS, BULLWINKLE? YOU THINK BINOCULARS ARE GOING TO SAVE YOUR MOOSELY HIDE?
Well now, that depends on what you can see through them, doesn't it?