Thursday, September 11, 2008

Open Brain. Release Fog.

Welcome to "The Gods Are Bored," September 11, 2008. I'm the regular host, Anne Johnson. ("Anne Johnson" is my real name.)

Mindful of today's date, here is some of my fabulous free advice, offered free as always. So take it for what it's worth.

1. If you find yourself in a religion that advocates blowing up bad people, change religions.

2. If you can't change your religion because you're scared that the people arround you will shun, ruin, or kill you, change religions.

3. If a whole lot of people follow one religion, that doesn't mean that the religion is right for you. Change religions.

4. If you don't like the way your religion treats people of the other gender, change religions.

5. If you don't like the way your religion interferes with the science education of your children, change religions.

6. If your religious leaders are telling you how to vote, officially or unofficially, change religions.

7. If you have no religion, please respect those who do. If you do have religion, please respect those who don't.

8. If your religion puts a great deal of time and efforts into fancy trappings, which you can't afford, change religions.

9. If you've never found a religion that fits you like that great old sweatshirt you always wear to rake the leaves, don't stop looking. It's out there. You'll find it.

10. If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands.

FROM ANNE
THE MERLIN OF BERKELEY SPRINGS

14 comments:

harmonyfb said...

Your ideas intrigue me, and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

Anne Johnson said...

Our operators are standing by to take your call.

cavalaxis said...

here via harmonyfb. Just pure undistilled brilliance. Thank you for that.

Jenna said...

Learning to - Clap clap.

Well said.

yellowdog granny said...

im clapping my hands...
and cheering..

onelittlepagan said...

Thank you for what is honestly the most sane reflection I've read yet today.

THE Michael said...

I just picked out the closest thing to my mindset I could find and customized it. Such liberties will send me straight to hell, I know, but I would rather watch Bill Moyer in hell than suffer through one more episode of Jerry Springer in Heaven.

Hillbilly Fairy said...

If you believe, clap your hands! (Clap, clap).

Maebius said...

I do believe! /clap clap
And I totally agree about the "sweatshirt" metaphor. Wear it raking the leaves, and everywhere else! :)
blessings,=
-Maebius

Mama Kelly said...

::clapping loudly::

Lavanah said...

clapping madly
(and so glad to have you home and typing, again)

Nomi said...

This is great! As a Quaking Jew, I believe it is entirely possible to have MORE Than ONE religion!

That's the little B. Spinoza voice in my head chanting, yes, yes.

What would Walt Whitman say/do/write/screw??

Raevyn said...

Welcome back, dear Anne!! And just for the record, I'm clapping on the inside. I start clapping on the outside and my co-workers'll think I've lost it... wait...

CHEERS!!

souris optique said...

*CLAP,CLAP*

:D