75 Percent Off Sale
Welcome to "The Gods Are Bored," where one Anne isn't enough! Get that super-clone machine geared up, I can't work hard enough to satisfy George W. Bush. I need two more Annes here to help me out. And they better be as old as me, because I don't want my husband flirting with them.
Have you ever seen a sign on a store that said, "75 Percent Off! Sale Inside!" Then you go in, and you pick up a blouse, and its original price was $475.00.
So let's get this straight. Seventy-five percent off outrageously expensive is ... outrageously expensive.
If I've done my math right (always a dodgy proposition), the above-mentioned blouse, retailing at $475, would still cost $121. Maybe Jenna Bush can take advantage of that sale to improve her wardrobe.
I'm thinking of this because in September, my daughter The Heir will start college.
The other day, The Heir got a letter of acceptance from an area institution. They were pleased to offer her a $15,000 scholarship based on her academic record!
Alas. This generous college (seeking to boost its lackluster reputation by attracting scholars like The Heir) costs $37,000 a year for tuition, room and board.
Again with the math. We the Parents would be out $22,000 a year to send The Heir to a lackluster college. The Heir has applied to colleges with good reputations that will probably cost us about the same amount.
And where we'll get that kind of dough I have no idea. I hear our president is going to be sending out $250 checks to deserving working folks. Maybe we can put that in the bank, and in 1000 years it will have earned enough interest to pay for The Heir's college.
I didn't bother to do the math on that last one. Sorry. Long day and all that.