Thursday, December 27, 2007

Disaster

Welcome to "The Gods Are Bored," adrift at sea! Oh, woe is me!

I had no idea there was such dissention in the servants' wing until yesterday morning. My daughter The Spare threw a fit because the refrigerated perfumes kept next to her personal hot tub were not in alphabetical order. The Spare fired the offending personal assistant, and the entire staff packed up and left.

All except my husband's gentleman's gentleman, Meadowes. He's been with us since 1981 and does not mingle with The Spare.

I'll admit I did have a slight difference of opinion on the matter of white sauce with my chef, Alphonse, last week. But for him to collect his belongings in his satchel and leave me with all this entertaining to do -- it's unspeakable. Just unspeakable. I have had to engage the sous chef from Le Bec Fin, Philadelphia's most prominent restaurant, to come and prepare meals for us. Thank goodness he was on Christmas vacation! It also helps that we have a permanent table at Le Bec Fin at which we dine several times a week.

Not one of these ungrateful servants will get a positive reference from me, to be sure.

Does anyone know how to set a table? Horrors! The silver has a day's worth of tarnish on it already!

You can't get good help these days.

8 comments:

yellowdog granny said...

one word.....



caterers...

david m said...

You've baffled me this time Anne. But, no matter, I'll still read you every day.

david
/|\

Evn said...

A couple of months ago, I went through this phase where I constantly referenced "the help." For example, if someone said, "You're desk is messy," I'd say, "I'll speak with the help immediately." Or, if someone said, "Hey, e-mail me later," I'd say, "Yes! I'll have the help draft a note."

That was fun. I miss the help.

Aquila ka Hecate said...

You laugh - I think it is/was a major reason so many lower-middle to middle class folk settled in South Africa from England. The help.
They got to be actual sl..err..servant employers in this country; one or two in the house, one or two for the garden.

It must have been a huge thrill for them.

Love,
Terri in Joburg

WW said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
WW said...

Argh...let's try this again...

Ye gods - can't everyone detect the tongue-in-cheek here? Lighten up and have some fun!!
M.

Anne Johnson said...

Geez, I was hoping everyone would detect the tongue in cheek! The only help I can afford is Decibel the parrot, his only duty is burglar alarm.

Evn said...

The funny thing is, all the help in my fantasy world were lower-middle to middle class British people...