Welcome to "The Gods Are Bored," shopping lightly in troubled times! This is not, nor has it ever been, our Yule tree. However, today marks a week and counting until Xmas is upon us again!
No single religion or culture can lay claim to gift-giving as a sign of affection. We at "The Gods Are Bored" feel that this urge to give unto others, particularly our families, goes back so far in time that the gods and goddesses who proposed it are lost to memory.
Picture it. There stands Ogette in the cave, stirring up the last of the fresh apples in a tasty broth, thinking how much Og will appreciate it when he gets home from wherever he went. And in walks Og with a plump partridge and some pretty little uncut gem that he bartered 16 arrowheads for. Then Og winks at Ogette and lumbers off to carve a little toy or some such for Baby Oggie.
You just know when Baby Oggie grows up, she's gonna remember that scene and encourage her husband Iggie to be more like her dad.
With that in mind, we at "The Gods Are Bored" holler UNCLE and offer you these wonderful free, absolutely free shopping tips. If you hop right on them, you can still get your gifts by next Tuesday ... I think. Hey, I'm a goat judge, not a Postmaster General.
Jeff at Druid's Journal has created a 2008 appointment book with Druid/Nature themes that will be just perfect for your hectic schedule. As you record the date and time for your root canal, you can stare at his soothing pictures! (In all seriousness, Jeff is a thoughtful, insightful Druid, and his calendar reflects his sensitivity.)
If what you need is a t-shirt with your favorite bored god or goddess on it, fear not! This is the era of the Internet! Thalia Took has created a fabulous, colorful, cross-cultural series of t-shirts that would make a great gift for the Mormon brother-in-law. I can personally vouch for Thalia's wares. They are superb.
Speaking of t-shirts, I'll bet there's a dude in your life that you just can't find a damn thing for, no matter how high or low you look. And he just loves "classic rock," and he never mentally left the 1970s. (As a matter of fact, a lot of really young dudes dig 1970s music too! And no wonder. Have you listened to today's Top 40?) Hooray! Annie's here to save you. Check out Woodstock Trading Company. Yessirree, Woodstock has you covered for rock music, just look at all those John Lennon shirts! Even better, Woodstock has a humongous, gigantic, and eclectic store of incense from the far reaches of the Orient. And a resident incense expert who will know the answer to your every question about the stuff. Shop on, Summer of Love!
Well, that covers Og and Ogette. On to Oggie, and your inner Ogette!
I can't recommend enough the products at Jules Enchanting Gifts. Hey, a store owned and run by a pretty girl named Happy can't possibly steer you wrong, can it? (Happy is her real name.) Faeries, faeries, faeries! And a lot of other neat collectible stuff for the granny who has everything. If you shop with Happy online, you'll also be helping the economy of Berkeley Springs, WV, which is where her darling little shop is located.
Maybe what you want to do is make the world a better place. And you already know how to do that, you've got charities that you endow with your hard-earned money. And they love you for it. You make things better, and there's something to be said for that! However, if you're searching around for a worthy charitable project, we at "The Gods Are Bored" prioritize The Rare and Endangered Species Trust in Namibia. RARE is currently leading a crusade to save the remaining Cape Gryphon Vultures from extinction.
Remember, we at "The Gods Are Bored" are conducting a Great, Grand, Gryphon Grab! Let us know if you've made a donation by January 1, and your name will be entered to win a surprise package from the 2008 East Coast Vulture Festival ... oh, joy, it's just around the corner!
Now I've got you covered, except if you need a pet. Go to Petfinder for that! For the love of fruit flies, don't waste $1000 on some pedigreed pooch that will keel at the ripe old age of five!