Welcome to "The Gods Are Bored!" Dream on, dream on, dream until your dreams come true!
Part of what drew me to Paganism is its respect for dream magic.
This is not to say that the Christian church has not produced dream magicians -- the final chapter in its Big Book is a fab Dream Weaver opus. But just today, as a Dream Weaver, I feel more comfortable in the Pagan fold.
What is a Dream Weaver? Well, so far as I can tell, there are two kinds.
Some Dream Weavers actually see future events in their dreams, then write down the events as they experienced them, then publish them in the Bible.
Okay, perhaps a radical example, but a fair example nonetheless.
Other Dream Weavers believe their dreams to be gifts from the deities, bored or otherwise. These dreams are to be remembered, studied, enjoyed, feared, interpreted, and/or used for creative purposes. I am this sort of Dream Weaver.
I'm never happier than when people say to me: "Wow. I had this amazing dream last night. I wonder what it means?" In ten out of ten cases, I can exactly tell them what the dream means and how it reflects what's happening, what has happened, or what is about to happen, in their lives. Even if I do not know them.
Any bored god will tell you that Sigmund Freud was no Dream Weaver. His outlook was not big, broad, and flexible, which is what it needs to be to understand the gift of dreams.
Psychoanalysts charge big bucks to hear you talk about your dreams. Which should put the scotch to them right then and there. A Pagan Dream Weaver will gladly interpret your dreams for free, so long as you don't phone up at 3:00 a.m. or stain the furniture. At the very least he or she might charge a nominal fee depending on how lightly you sleep and how much interpretation you need.
We at "The Gods Are Bored" interpret dreams, following the above Pagan pay scale. We would sincerely appreciate not hearing from you if your dreams are all about violent attacks on elected public officials or your neighbor's noisy pit bull. Thank you for your consideration.
Here's a quick for instance on how a Dream Weaver works.
A young gal told me that she dreamed she was about to step into the bed of the man of her dreams.
Wait a minute. That sounds postmodern. Let's try again.
A young gal told me she dreamed she was about to step into bed with a guy she likes, but he didn't know she liked him. In the dream though, he was blissfully surprised at her willingness, and he invited her. Except she was wearing a big oversized sweatshirt, and she got all tangled up in it trying to get it over her head. She was finally able to wrestle out of it and move on to the good stuff.
If you can interpret this dream, you may be a Dream Weaver. Take our correspondence course! Our operators are standing by to take your call.
My Dream Weaver response will appear in a subsequent post.
THE MERLIN OF BERKELEY SPRINGS
Dreamy faerie dude by Seitou