Welcome to "The Gods Are Bored," now taking passengers for heaven at Door Number One! And guess what? You don't have to leap off at that big commuter hub where everyone else exits to run to their cars. Ride on a few more stops. Enjoy the scenery. There are some really nice deities further out along the line. Especially if you go local and not express.
I'm in the process of eliminating everything that annoys me day by day. Of course, in order to do this completely one must medicate profusely. But just by dropping a few morons here and there, a burden can be lightened.
About two years ago I got suckered into a community group full of elderly ladies with strong opinions. One of them keeps sending me "WE NEED PRAYER IN THE SCHOOLS" chain mails. Two days ago, this annoying gal sent me this long thing about a father whose child was killed at Columbine. The father testified before Congress that what caused his child to be killed was a lack of God in the schools. He blamed Congress for yanking God outta the classrooms.
So, okay. This is about the 16th of these I've gotten from the same dapper gal. Finally I responded. I said that our current leadership can't advocate prayer in schools because it is against the VERY FIRST AMENDMENT in the U.S. Constitution. Yep, this is not the doing of Nancy Pelosi, no matter what they say in Kansas.
Her reply reveals the fundie response to the carefully-crafted Establishment Clause:
1. A moment of silence should be allowed in which children can pray.
2. Congress didn't mean not to establish CHRISTIANITY as its religion, only a specific BRANCH of Christianity, like Anglicanism.
This lady had a long career in nursing. How could she have assisted heart surgeons while proving to be so unable to think critically?
To her first spirited reply, I would like to tell her that Druids do not pray silently. We chant "Awens," often quite loudly and always loudly enough to be heard. That might prove distracting to the Christian kindergarteners at your local public school.
To the second, I would like to tell her that "Christianity" is so broad that it includes Satan worship. One rather doubts that James Madison would like Congress to establish a religion that, on its most radical wing, encourages the slaughter of kittens in pentagrams.
I'm not going to waste my precious fingerprints typing a reply to my chain-mail gal pal. That's what a delete button is for. And -- to get back to my first point -- I've quit the group she's in. Saying "I resign" removed an annoyance from my life.
The moral of today's sermon: Go ahead and pray in school if you want to, but don't ask the damn government to choose your brand of prayer as its primary provider.
Second moral: One of the kids killed at Columbine was shot in cold blood because she said she believed in God. So God was in the school that day after all. If this sounds cold, well, you just don't believe in a hereafter. I believe in a hereafter ... lots of 'em.