Birthday Party Run Amok!
Welcome to "The Gods Are Bored," practical parenting for those who are longing to throttle Dr. Laura!
Maybe I shouldn't compare myself favorably to Dr. Laura, because there's mayhem downstairs, total mayhem.
It's The Heir's 18th birthday party.
Damn if they haven't raided the stash of TaB.
Yes, readers, I'm a total failure as The Mother of My Children! At this very moment, tender youngsters are toasting with TaB, tasting TaB for the first time, while my reckless, TaB-addicted daughter looks on!
This is a disaster waiting to happen. One of those sweet, innocent kids down there might develop a TaB habit, start drinking 350 cans every day, and wind up with cancer! Just ask the poor lab rats who were plied with the equivalent of 350 cans of TaB a day, and they'll tell you it's quite easy to injest that much carbonated soft drink.
I hang my head in shame. I'm a disgrace to this community, where all the normal parents allow their kids to drink beer.