Tuesday, January 24, 2006

How to Raise Money the Catholic Way


Welcome to "The Gods Are Bored!" You might think this is some evil pagan site dedicated to slaughtering kittens in pentagrams. Forget it. You're wrong. We're surprisingly moral around here.



No smoking.
No gambling.
No potty words.
No racial or ethnic slurs (except hillbilly, because we are)
No slaughtering anything, especially kittens and oak trees.

There's a Catholic church with an attached elementary school near my house. Like all other church/schools, they need to have fundraisers to keep the old coffers brimming.

Today when I drove by I saw a little sign. It read, "Monte Carlo Night. Cocktails, Entertainment, Casino Games."

I assume this is a fundraiser for the school, and not the way the priests choose to spend their spare time.

I wonder if they're going to have those cute waitresses in the stiletto heels.

And they call us pagans ... pagans.

For the record, while this druid imbibes wine in the privacy of her home, she is opposed to gambling, except for the occasional gift basket raffle. Encouraging the kind of behavior described on that church's sign is hardly what one would expect of a ... church.

Maybe the priests down there are tired of boring confessions and want to hear something fresh. I'm sure they'll be richly rewarded by "Monte Carlo Night."

FROM ANNE
THE MERLIN OF BERKELEY SPRINGS

1 comment:

Fiacharrey said...

You know, so many churches do a bingo night for a fundraiser. I don't see what the difference is, and I never understood how they could preach against gambling, and then have a gambling night every week.