The Gods Hate Computers
Welcome to "The Gods Are Bored!" Is your god one of those way too busy deities, working 14-hour days doing the work of six or seven gods that were let go in search of increased profit margins?
Deep-six that busy god. Go find a bored god or goddess, or both, or many, and pray to them! They'll be so grateful for the attention. And you might find that they're more sympathetic, and far more attentive, and better cooks than your current god.
Think of it as bypassing the Home Depot to get your hardware at the local Mom-and-Pop store. You think Home Depot will miss your business? On the other hand, those kindly old storekeepers in the next borough are desperate for your custom. Trust me!
Can the timing be worse? Just two weeks until the holiest day on the calendar, and my computer has to go see the doctor. It's crawling like the Turtle On Whose Shell the World Rests.
Hey, when they start teaching Intelligent Design in science class, I sure hope they include that Turtle On Whose Shell the World Rests. Can't prove it wrong, eh? John Glenn might have missed the Holy Turtle when he was staring out of his spaceship. Maybe the Holy Turtle deliberately hides from all telescopes, spaceships, and probes.
It wants us to have faith.
I think next time I say the Pledge of Allegiance, I'll say, "One nation, under the Holy Turtle On Whose Shell the World Rests, indivisible..."
You know the rest.
THE MERLIN OF BERKELEY SPRINGS