Saturday, October 08, 2005
Cowardly New World
Welcome to "The Gods Are Bored!" This awesome tribute to polytheism has nothing to do with the picture here displayed -- we just thought it was a funny shot!
We cannot properly credit this adorable photo, it having come to us in an email from a beloved cousin, far, far away.
Well, fans, I have been so blue for a week that I didn't even feel like leaving out carcasses for the Thunderbirds. But the prayer to Queen Brighid the Bright worked for me! I'm back and rocking on.
Because this is truly a wonderful world. And its days of being a wonderful world are numbered.
Why am I happy again? Because I live in the Age of Mortality.
What's that, you say? You've never heard of the Age of Mortality?
Works like this. Anyone born before the year 1989 is sure to die some day. Anyone born thereafter might, if they have enough $$$, dough, scratch, large, beans, cash, or moolah, be able to purchase physical immortality.
Yes, faithful fans, we are soon to enter a Cowardly New World, where the rich will be able to buy drugs that will keep their cells performing like the ones in active teenagers. The Man will look 22 when he's 426! The only way he'll ever die is if he falls into a volcano and there's not enough DNA left to clone him back again.
Think how many trophy wives he'll have by age 426. And how many children he'll have to provide with the same health plan he has. The Cowardly Race of Immortals will be upon us ... or, I should say, upon our descendants.
Science fiction? You think so? My great-grandpa died of a burst appendix at age 32. Now he wouldn't even miss two weeks of work.
Physical immortality is soon to be a fact.
I'm sure you can hear "Mr. Applegate" gnashing his teeth, because he knows the ones who want to hang out on this sorry planet the longest are also the ones he'd like a clear shot at.
Still, I sit here content, because the Rich Corporate Big Shot who's trying to stick the shaft to my family was not born before 1989. He's going to have to deal with "Mr. Applegate," while I watch, from an appreciative distance, amongst the Gentry of Sidhe.
As for physical immortality, well ... I don't know about the rest of you. I think this planet is okay. But after 75 years or so of it, I'll be ready to move on. I'm glad there won't be some damned mad scientist offering me a "fountain of youth" shot.
'Twill be a very happy day
When I go West - and there I'll stay.
I am mortal. Hooray!
THE MERLIN OF BERKELEY SPRINGS
WAIT-LISTED TO BE A DIXIE NIXIE